Q & A with BB: A Little Less Conversation

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Q. Hi Bre! Love your blog! I have an issue I hope you can help me out with. I have been going to a freelance massage therapist and I really like her-she does a great job. However, she talks, a lot. We’re friendly so I don’t know how to get her to stop without it coming off badly. Is there anything I can do to get her to “Shush up Nancy?” Or do I have to break up with her? Thank you, Carol.

A. Thank you for the great question Carol, and I love the hilarious Step Brother’s reference. I’m sorry you’re not having a very relaxing experience. Massages should be a blissful, therapeutic service; they are not a time for chit chat. Prior to becoming an esthetician, I attended massage therapy school. Unfortunately, I was unable to finish due to a back injury. In school, however, we were taught the dynamics of the therapist client relationship. Massage therapists, as a rule, should let the client dictate the talking, if any. I know when I work with a client and I am performing a facial, I let my client determine the flow of conversation. I follow the old parental adage of, “only speak when spoken to.” If my client is there to relax and fall asleep, I do what I can to make that happen and zip the lip. If my client is inquiring about product recommendations or the condition of her skin, I am more than happy to answer her questions or engage in polite conversation. I always let the client decide the nature and dynamic of the service.

The important thing to remember, for any client, whether it be on the massage table, or in the hair stylists chair, is that you are in charge. You call the shots. You are paying for a service and it should meet {and exceed in MHO} your expectations. Granted, you should go about that in a respectful, courteous way. That being said, my advice would be to communicate your needs to your massage therapist. If you don’t want to talk, it is important for you to tell her from the get go, even before you lie down. While your massage therapist may be talented and gifted when it comes to petrissage, it is unlikely that she has ESP. You don’t want to spend your time {and money} on the table enduring when you should be enjoying. Say something along the lines of “I am so tired. I have really been looking forward to just lying down and completely zoning out.” This should politely convey your desires for a relaxing and quiet massage quite nicely. If she doesn’t take this direction, you could always pretend you’re asleep complete with fake snoring. Kidding! If she doesn’t let you relax, you should either tell her flat out your wish for a talk free massage, or look for another massage therapist. You can find one here at the American Massage Therapy Association’s website. It’s your call, but you should definitely tell her what you want either way. Communication is important for any relationship, and the one you have with your massage therapist is no exception. I hope you have a good outcome that you’re happy with! Thank you for the terrific question.

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Have you ever had a massage therapist talk during your session? How did you handle it?

Remember, I love reader questions and I would love to answer yours! Leave me a comment or send me an e-mail, I’d be happy to offer any help.

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2 Responses to Q & A with BB: A Little Less Conversation

  1. elle sees says:

    I’ve never had a professional massage before but I like knowing whatto expect for when I do!. Thanks!

  2. Sam says:

    Great post Bre. I love your writing style…


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